Motherhood

Two Under Two Must Haves Vol. 1: Your Mental State 

/ October 11, 2017

From baby gear to your mental state, there will be lots of new changes and an extra bum to clean with two under two. This is my round up of survival and staying sane with two under two. Volume 1 of this series is going to cover the least talked about topic when it comes to motherhood… your mental state.

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If you are pregnant, come back and read this once baby is here. When I read these articles during my second pregnancy I skipped over a lot that I didn’t think applied to me. It did. It does. It’s an adjustment, completely different one than with baby number one. 


Your Mental State Must Haves

  • Patience: Practice this now. Newborns are easy, at least in comparison to any child over the age of 12 months. Specifically, mine are 18 months apart and wheewww! Toddlers are in a league of their own. Practice keeping your emotions in check, it will really come in handy while all of those postpartum hormones are going crazy.
  • Grace: You cannot do it all, perfectly, all of the time. Give yourself grace, daily! Some days I’m lucky if I’ve eaten more than a protein bar while worrying about my weight, and if Eli is getting enough to eat. At the same time, Cameron has had a popsicle for breakfast because she woke up on the wrong side of the bed. G R A C E. I am not perfect but my kids are SO loved and taken care of. I am SO loved and taken care of. It gets better…SO MUCH BETTER.
  • Take Care Of Your Body: On nights when I wanted to crawl in bed and cry, I would  take a long hot shower. Take care of yourself. Wash your hair even if you can barely move your arms. Shave your legs even if it’s the middle of winter. Wash your face, brush your teeth, get a mani/pedi, whatever “self care” means to you, DO IT even if you are tired. It will make a difference. Eat healthy, but if you want some queso, by all means dive in. Extra caramel on your frappe? Whatever floats your boat, you deserve it! Drink water (after your coffee) and REST! The dishes can sit there another day.
  • Let Go Of Guilt: This is touchy. Nobody talks about it, which is annoying. The few times I did see someone open up, I thought it wouldn’t apply to me. But it does. Do not hold onto guilt. It will eat you up. Guilt about taking #1’s attention/childhood/ whatever away. Guilt about playing a second movie so you can feed the baby. Guilt about putting the toddler to bed 30 minutes early. Guilt about not getting the toddler out of bed when they first wake up. Guilt about letting your newborn fuss while you change your toddlers diaper. SO MUCH GUILT. But guess what, it’s not real. Read point number two again. 
  • Get dressed: Even if you have no plans to leave the house, get dressed. Nothing fancy, just get out of pajamas. I don’t know why but that always makes me feel better. Maybe because it’s something you can control…
  • Embrace the change: It’s less about adjusting to a newborn and more about adjusting with your toddler. Learning how to pack a diaper bag with enough to take care of two. Learning how to judge who needs you the most when they both cry. Learning about the constants. Constant diapers, mouths to feed, entertaining, rocking, holding, kissing, loving… it is constant.  Your heart just might explode!
  • Lastly, grieve: This may sound morbid, but the second your baby was born a season of life passed away. You are now onto a season with two kids. You may think (I did) that we will never be able to go out to eat again or to the grocery store as a family. BUT WE DO! It seems like such a culture shock at first. Like, how on earth will I ever manage? But you do, and you can and you will.

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The first weeks after baby number two are an adjustment. If I can do it, anyone can. I am the worst with big changes, I absolutely love my routines! But guess what, two months later and I cannot imagine our life without baby Eli. We kept everything the same and he just melted right into our life.

Stay Tuned for 
Two Under Two Must Haves Vol. 2: Routines

XO, Jess

 

29 thoughts on “Two Under Two Must Haves Vol. 1: Your Mental State 

  1. I love this! My two are 4 and 1 but this list still rings true! We have to let go of the guilt and take care of ourselves. I remember hearing somewhere that ” we can’t pour from an empty pitcher”. So as moms we have to take care of ourselves and be filled in order to care properly for the little ones!

  2. Oh yes, always get dressed. There is just something about getting out of those jammies that helps me feel like I am ready to start my day.

  3. I had two under two this summer, and my son did not take well to having a sister, so it was definitely a rough time! We survived though, and he’s two now, so I’m throwing all patience out the window. Lol

  4. I hand it to the moms with more than one under the age of two. I couldn’t even imagine how tough it would be. My girls are 6 years apart, and although it would have been great to have them closer in age, no way could I do it.

  5. These are such useful tips to any mom/dad who is adjusting to life with two under two! Our four kiddos are older now (our youngest is 14) but I will keep this handy to share with others who might need it.

  6. These are great tips for mothers with one child because you start to lose something when you are home alone taking care of the baby and not going out much. Good luck you will make it if you follow these tips.

  7. That is very well said. It is a huge adjustment and so many things will change but that doesn’t make it impossible. All you need is a little more patience and you’re going to be okay.

  8. Things were definitely different when I had my second baby as well as the third and the fourth. There were so much from the old me that I had lost and so much from the new one that I had gained. It’s also important that we take good care of ourselves while we take care of the new lives that we welcomed into the world.

  9. I will never know what 2 under 2 feels like…but thanks for sharing and I’ll be sure to pass it on to my friends and family who will need this!!

  10. I did learn to let go of guilt early on but I still struggle with patience. I have patience with little ones, it’s the adults I struggle with. LOL. My youngest is now 11 and my oldest is 20, I am just waiting for the day to have grandbabies.

  11. This is great advice. Two little ones definitely require patience and a sense of humor, but you also have to be good to yourself. I think it’s easy to just devote everything to your kids while forgetting you are still a living, breathing person with needs of your own.

  12. Letting go of the guilt that you are not able to be superhuman is so important. If you have to push something to the next day….that’s okay!

  13. My children are slightly over 2.5 years apart and I thought those first few months were tough! Hats off to all the Two and under moms because it is no joke! I agree with the let go of guilt SO much. We are all just doing the best we can and guilt does nothing positive for us!

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